Non-Verbal Communication and Tips for an Effective Hand Shake for Women

Compiled by Sachu Ramalingam

Non Verbal Communication

What we don't say bears more meaning than what we verbalize. We constantly transmit and receive non-verbal messages, often revealing our attitudes and feelings before we say a single word. Once you increase your awareness of these signs and develop your ability to read and understand them - you will greatly improve your ability to communicate and work effectively with others. Each posture, each movement, and each gaze - is a message sent from within. Try and figure out - what is the meaning of each posture? Body Language is the unspoken communication, those subtle messages conveyed without words that are transmitted and received in every Face-to-Face encounter with another human being. These include posture, facial expressions, gestures, mannerisms and your appearance. These messages tell you someone's true feelings towards you and how well your words are being received. Between 60-80% of our message is communicated through our Body Language, only 7-10% is attributable to the actual words of a conversation. Some psychologists claim that the impact you
make on others depends on what you say (7%), how you say it (38%), and by your body language (55%). Since how you sound also conveys a message, 93% of emotion is
communicated without actual words. It's often not what you say that influences others; it's what you don't say. The signals that you send nonverbally suggest attitude, understanding, empathy and ethics. The moment you meet another, they judge you by what they see and feel. The process takes less than 10 seconds but the impression is permanent. The signals that you send during this first contact may make or break a sale or change the outcome of any meeting. Your ability to read and understand another person's Body.

Language can mean the difference between making a great impression or a very bad one! It could help you in that job interview, that meeting, that business function, or special date!

Everyone has experienced the feeling that they have just been lied to, haven't they? The words of the conversation probably weren't what we noticed as a direct lie. It was more
likely to be the body movements and signals that gave them away. Darting eyes, palms not visible, shifting from one foot to another, hand covering mouth or fingers tugging at the ear are clues. All the clues are there. Our subconscious picks them up, and if we're lucky enough to be perceptive, decodes them and tells us that the words and gestures don't match!

Whenever there is a conflict between the words that someone says and their body signals and movements, we almost always believe their body! Non-verbal signs are very effective. They have a crucial influence on communicational processes, on the impression you create and the manner in which others treat you. Understanding the messages transmitted through the body is of considerable importance in order to improve communication skills, to advance your personal and professional targets and to increase personal effectiveness in inter-personal contacts.

So, being aware of the cues and signals being sent to you by others is a crucial skill if you want to understand a person's attitude towards you, regardless of what they are saying. Make Your Body Language Work for You! Learn how to use it to influence others or to create the right impact at first sight. To be effective in your communication and to gain the competitive edge in business, practice some of the following areas of body language.

1. NOTHING CROSSED. Keep arms, legs and feet relaxed and uncrossed. Also, if you are wearing a jacket, open it up. It relays the message I am open and honest with you.
2. LEAN FORWARD. Move within 6 to 8 feet of your client. Lean slightly forward. Interested people always pay attention and lean forward. Leaning backwards demonstrates aloofness or rejection.
3. MIRRORING. Pay attention to your clients breathing and the pace that they are talking at. Is it fast or slow, then mirror them. If they cross their legs, slowly do the same.
4. DIRECT EYE CONTACT. Direct eye contact is a compliment to most people and builds trust in you but be aware of the customs of people from other countries. It may be a sign of disrespect.
5. HANDSHAKE. Not too hard and not too soft. Pay attention to how you are shaking someone’s hand.

Source: Amended from Raam consultants- Body Language & Non Verbal
Communication

Tips for Effective Handshaking

1 Always shake from a standing position.
2 Make immediate eye contact, if possible, and smile.
3 Do not pull away from the handshake too quickly, as this sends a message that you don't want to get too close.
4 Hold the other person's hand for a split second longer than duty requires. This practice conveys confidence and pleasure in meeting the person.
5 Whenever possible, volunteer your name first. It shows confidence and self-control.
6 Offer your hand first and firmly grasp the other person's palm. Avoid clasping the other person's fingers, as this may appear condescending.
7 A man no longer has to wait for a woman to extend her hand first. Women should shake hands with each other as well as with male associates.
8 Repeat the name of the person to whom you are being introduced, for example, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Elaine." This is courteous; it also helps you remember the other person's name.
9 Be conscious of the strength of your grip. The "bonecrusher" handshake says that you are either a bully, or are insecure and have something to prove. Too soft a handshake speaks of insecurity.
10 Hand positions can communicate dominance or submission. An upturned palm indicates submissiveness. A down-turned palm shows a need for power.
11 To show warmth and sincerity you can use the two-handed handshake. Shake with one hand while clasping the outside of the person's hand with the other. Use this only with people you know very well.
12 If you are drinking a cold beverage, hold the glass in your left hand to avoid shaking with a clammy right hand.
13 Wear your nametag on your right side. It can be read more easily by the other person as you shake hands.
14 If you suffer from sweaty palms, keep a tissue in your pocket. Squeeze it prior to shaking hands. Washing your hands in advance with hot water will delay perspiration.
Source: Usheroff Institute

TECH TALK

Compiled By Sachu Ramalingam

1. Laptop stand:

Logitech is a Swiss firm with a very strong research and development wing and if you have a laptop you can take it to new heights with their Notebook stand. The Notebook stand comes with a cordless keyboard and a very convenient 3-port USB hub. The stand makes you feel as if you are working on a desktop. Prices range between Rs 4,500 and Rs 7,000, depending on the features you want.

2. Universal Remote

With a single remote you can control your TV, DVD player, computer, lighting controls, fans, ACs and just about any device you can think of. To set it up, all you have to do is connect to the Internet with the USB cable provided and enter your equipment model number and answer a few simple questions. The database already includes 175,000 devices from over 5,000 manufacturers. If you have a remote controlled device, you can add it to the database and just use your Universal remote. There is no need to worry about walls and pillars and doors blocking your signals. You can control equipment inside a cabinet or even in the next room. At present it is available at Imagine at City Centre, Salt Lake, Calcutta and many other places.

3. NEW ZOOMTEXT USB RELEASED

Ai Squared recently released ZoomText USB, a portable program on a USB
memory drive that fits in your pocket or around your neck on the included lanyard. The drive enables users to install and run ZoomText wherever and whenever needed without having to purchase additional licensing or worry about
activating each installation. Just plug in the USB drive and, if ZoomText has already been installed on the system, immediately use the software. If ZoomText
hasn't been installed, a low-vision--friendly setup program launches for a quick
installation. The user settings are saved back to the USB drive and load automatically each time the drive is used. For more information, visit www.aisquared.com or call 1-800-859-0270.

4. NEWS FROM MICROSOFT

Microsoft and the Digital Accessible Information System (DAISY) Consortium recently announced a joint development project that will make it possible for computer users who are blind or print-disabled to gain access to more written content by using assistive technology. This project will be a reference model for other Open XML solution models. It will be available on SourceForge.net, and will yield a free, downloadable plug-in for Microsoft Word that will enable users to translate Open XML-based documents into DAISY XML, the standard for reading and publishing navigable multimedia content. When it becomes available in early 2008, the "Save as DAISY" feature will mean that people with print disabilities will have better access to the information in billions of documents.

5. AOL BECOMES ACCESSIBLE

AOL has recently launched a new web interface, Websuite Lite, which makes the dynamic Web 2.0 interface accessible for users who are blind. The team that designed the interface was led by Tom Wlodkowski, a blind man who experienced the challenges Web 2.0 applications presented firsthand. To further enhance web accessibility, AOL also released a new Java script library that makes it easier for web developers to implement accessible features with modern Web 2.0 sites.

David Paterson, the second legally blind chief state executive and Governor of Albany, US

The New York Times

The Vision Thing
By STEPHEN KUUSISTO
Published: March 14, 2008

WHEN David Paterson takes the oath of office in Albany on Monday, he will not only become the third African-American governor since Reconstruction, he will also be only the second legally blind chief state executive (the first being Bob Cowley Riley, who was governor of Arkansas for 11 days in 1975). I think it’s a safe bet that Governor Paterson’s visual impairment will be harder for the public to understand than his race.

Blindness is often thought of as an either-or condition: a person can see or he can’t. Terms like “low vision” or “legal blindness” are mysterious. Spotting me with my guide dog in Grand Central Terminal when I was in New York recently, a stranger asked: “How blind are you? I mean, you don’t look blind.” I told him I can see colors and fog. “Oh,” he said with obvious puzzlement, “colors and fog.”

Tens of thousands of people with severely limited vision or who are legally blind have delicate and even intricate forms of sight. I think of it as like living inside a painting by Jackson Pollock — our sight is real but hard to explain. The images are sometimes indecipherable.

David Paterson’s blindness isn’t identical to mine. He lost his vision because of a childhood illness. I was born prematurely and my retinas were damaged by incubation. He can see some images with his right eye and nothing with his left. I see the world from inside an abstract painting. Still, we’re almost the same age and both of us were sent to public schools in the early ’60s, an era when visually impaired children didn’t usually receive a mainstream education. We both learned early on how to make serious use of our ears. I imagine the future governor’s information-gathering skills are supple and inexhaustible.

Blind people are invariably creative and resourceful. Obviously we’re good listeners. But what people may not know is that learning to have a keen sense for what others are talking about requires developing an equally sharp curiosity about human beings. When people talk to me, I can’t just listen; I am also compelled to take stock of the person behind the words. This means asking questions that might not occur to people who can see. One of my students recently observed that I ask people in my classes to explain the things that they customarily overlook. “You ask things like ‘What was the first thing you said to yourself this morning?’” she pointed out. “You challenge us to recall the forgotten things.”
I can’t afford forgotten things. Blind folks must constantly keep track of what we learn and memorize our surroundings. For us, an unfamiliar setting that a sighted person could map out in a glance is a puzzle that requires agile problem-solving. On occasion we even need to ask strangers for advice.

New Yorkers will no doubt discover that Mr. Paterson will take great interest in the details of governance and that this will require him to take sincere interest in people. He’ll ask more questions than your average politician. And those who work in his administration will find that they are important not simply for knowing things but because they can describe how they learned those things in the first place. That’s perhaps the most important thing for the public to understand about professionals who are blind — we are by nature tireless in acquiring information, and we remember virtually every detail of what we read or hear.

Sometimes I ask my students to notice the words they’re saying, and then I ask them to listen once more to the things they may have missed. In the world of blindness this skill is part of “orientation and mobility.” Blind people can navigate independently because they can interpret what they hear. They can differentiate between the sound of traffic moving forward and cars in the turning lane. And yes, if you have a visual impairment you are likely practiced at being patient.
I’m guessing there are some who wonder whether a blind man is up to the job of governing the Empire State. Even though there are 10 million blind or visually impaired Americans, many people have never seen one of them in a job of such responsibility — or in any professional role at all. Even though it has been close to 20 years since the adoption of the Americans With Disabilities Act, the unemployment rate for the blind is estimated to be 70 percent. In this era of superb computer screen-reading software and talking P.D.A. devices, when many blind Americans are college graduates, this statistic implies that the public still doesn’t fully understand how talented visually impaired professionals are.

That’s fine. New Yorkers once underestimated Franklin Roosevelt. Now David Paterson can show how a legally blind person can lead.
Stephen Kuusisto, who teaches creative nonfiction writing at the University of Iowa, is the author, most recently, of “Eavesdropping: A Memoir of Blindness and Listening.”